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Sunday, April 1

Not as good as the Viagra one

Google announces free in-home wireless broadband service

"Dark porcelain" project offers self-installed plumbing-based Internet access

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The Toilet Internet Service Provider (TiSP) project is a self-installed, ad-supported online service that will be offered entirely free to any consumer with a WiFi-capable PC and a toilet connected to a local municipal sewage system.

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Home installation is a simple matter of GFlushing™ the fiber-optic cable down to the nearest TiSP Access Node, then plugging the other end into the network port of your Google-provided TiSP wireless router.

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Interested consumers, contractually obligated partners and deeply skeptical and quietly competitive backbiters can learn more about TiSP at http://www.google.com/tisp/install.html.


Trickle The #2 Royal Flush

Download speed (max)

8 Mbps
(10X basic DSL)

16 Mbps
(20X basic DSL)

32 Mbps
(40X basic DSL)

Upload speed (max)

2 Mbps

4 Mbps

8 Mbps

Price

Free

$9.95/mo.

$24.95/mo.


Actual speeds will vary, depending on network traffic and sewer line conditions. Users with low-flow toilets may simultaneously experience a saving-the-environment glow and slower-data-speed blues.


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Is Google TiSP safe and reliable?
Google TiSP ensures reliable throughput through the power of fiber, which has been proven through extensive research to effectively facilitate consistent data flow with minimal latency. And you can rest assured that under no circumstances will the TiSP system ever expose your privates.

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The requested URL was not found on this server. There are so many reasons that this might have happened we can scarcely bring ourselves to type them all out. You might have typed the URL incorrectly, for instance. Or (less likely but certainly plausible) we might have coded the URL incorrectly. Or (far less plausible, but theoretically possible, depending on which ill-defined Grand Unifying Theory of physics one subscribes to), some random fluctuation in the space-time continuum might have produced a shatteringly brief but nonetheless real electromagnetic discombobulation which caused this error page to appear. Or (and truth be told, this is by far the most likely scenario) you might have reached a page that we meant to create but didn't get around to it, since this year's April Fool's joke got hacked together at the last minute, more or less the same way this one did. And this one. And this one, and this one, and this one...

1 comment:

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